Unless you've been living in a cave on Mars, you have undoubtedly heard that the ultimate white-trash power couple, the Federline-Spearses, are expecting their first little bundle of future child-support payments. Can't you just see the little dear now, swaddled in a white "Baby Pimp" sweatsuit, a ring of Cheeto dust surrounding its little mouth? Cletus Federline? Joe-Bob Federline-Spears? Nah, too many hyphens. Cooter! And what if it's a girl? Lurleene? Taqueesha? Madonna Federline!
Whatever they decide, that kid's gonna be the richest little Tang-drinking tornado-dodger in the state of Louisiana.
After an arduous Google search, I cannot find any reference to who actually manufactures Steak-Um. However, judging from the staggering number of public schools that popped up, the thinly-sliced frozen steak product is still a staple of school lunches everywhere. BUT... I haven't actually seen Steak-Um in the freezer section for years, and they don't seem to have a website. Does Steak-Um still exist? If not, are these schools simply referring to thin-sliced, fried "steak" by a generic term (like xerox, band-aid, coke, kleenex, etc.)? In the pantheon of white-trash food, Steak-Um holds a place of honor, along with the aforementioned spray-cheese (and its mysterious cousin, Velveeta), scrapple, Spam, ambrosia salad, the Stuckey's Pecan Log Roll, and the various culinary stylings of Waffle House.
Who can solve this Steak-Um mystery?
**UPDATE: Finally, a bible worth reading!! [Thanks to Marcie for the link]
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